Tears of joy because You're the sweetest

ORIGINAL POST: Facebook Notes, 22 June 2010 at 14:09

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I was pleasantly surprised today.

Things haven't been going my way lately. And although most of the time, I stick to being cheery, it's been long weeks and months, adn there are some moments when the real feelings do catch up.

Last night, amidst the heat, I chose to wear the thickest long-sleeved shirt I have in my closet. I was ready to go home under the 8am sun today; sweaty, tired and sad. It didn't matter anymore - it can't get any worse than this.

Last night was the most tiring Monday of work to date; the clock was too slow and the work was too fast. I was ready to die by 3am.

But then, I survived. I got out of the building before the 8am sun peeked, took a very long fort bus ride that allowed me a magnificent power nap, rode a very cold EDSA bus and got to Kamuning when it was already raining.

I didn't go home sweaty, tired and sad like I thought I would. And I'm overly touched.

I'm overly touched by the gift of rain today. I couldn't thank You enough for the spark of hope that tells me that everything will be alright.

I hope that the rain made more people feel Your presence today and make more of us understand that You are there when we feel so alone.

Thank You so much for today's gift, I truly appreciate it.
Tears of joy because You're the sweetest. I <3 You, JC :)

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I try very hard not to post much about faith or talk to people about it - except those who I'm quite sure would understand and not judge that my name, my demeanor and my character will not give justice to what faith is.

I may not have the credibility to say these words because I know that I'm totally flawed and damaged and broken - in the sense that if you think I'm not, then I feel that my intellect has you fooled.

But I say things about faith in the hope that people will catch the message and not judge the message for its messenger.

This phenomenon I have here (and today) happens all the time: Right at the verge of our giving up, He make us feel his presence.

I think, most times, we just fail to see what He's been doing. And then suddenly, when we are down and troubled, He stands out.

And when we get to this state over and over, and get saved. That is when we gain faith.

And yes, that is how my atheist ass was restored to faith in 2004. Because it is absolutely impossible that my flawed and damaged and broken self did it alone.


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