Ang Ulan Ang Pag-ibig Mo

Basta na lang itong dumating.
Hindi ko man lang napansin;
Hindi kasi ako nakatingin.

Nalaman ko na lang
Dahil sa lakas nito
Kumakatok sa bintanang mahigpit na nakapinid
Ang malalaking mga patak ng tubig.

Inisip kong buksan ang bintana
Upang maramdaman ang halik ng ulan
Ngunit nag-atubili ako dahil hindi ko alam
kung makabubuti ba sa aking balat ang tubig na yan.

Nagtanong ako sa iba,
Pero sabi nila:
Hindi ko rin alam,
Buksan mo ang bintana kung gusto mong subukan.

Kaya't nag-isip ako sa isang tabi,
Nag-isip nang nag-isip hanggang makapili
- Bubuksan ba ang bintana o hindi?

At sa wakas, ako'y nakapagpasya:
Bubuksan ko ang bintana.

Kaso
Sa malas,
Nang mabuksan ko ang bintana
Tumila na
Ang ulan

At kung babalik ma'y
hindi ko alam kung kailan.

When Money called PacMan a Coward, Trouble Ensues

 

Mayweather called Pacquiao a coward and I struggle to find intelligent words as retort but all I can muster is:
"You f*cking @sswipe.."

Manny, Manny... Manny says he's not making excuses but he definitely seems to be blaming his injury for the loss. Others are blaming him and his team.

Meanwhile, I don't know who to blame. I'm disappointed about the loss, but I wasn't disappointed with Manny until the talk about the shoulder injury. Their camp chose to push through with the fight amidst the injury -putting himself and the win at risk.

Seems to be such a waste that, with all the anticipation and the hype, he was not at his best on fight night. He should've been prepared for the fight, shot or no shot. Besides, painkillers won't protect him much. What if Floyd was actually a boxer? What will happen to him?

Of course, a lot of rules and considerations will apply and I might get lost with all the jargon.

Nonetheless, injury or no injury, Manny was clearly the aggressor in that fight - you don't need to be a boxing analyst to figure that out.

And Floyd calls a coward the aggressor with the shoulder injury as Floyd ducks the rematch.

Oh, come on. Putangina, Floyd.

Anyhow, I'm sure a lot of people won't really want to see what we may predict to be a boring  rematch between an aggressor and a runner.

I won't either, save for the chance to see a TKO win as vengeance against a trash-talking, money-worshipping, wife-beating sorry excuse for a boxer.

Magalawa Island: The Paradise of Cool Waters

(Originally published on 06/2012 on diyandiyanlang.blogspot.com)

My friends from a previous office have gone to Magalawa in 2010 and I have been dying to go there since I saw the pictures of the place.

A dispute on its land ownership is widely discussed online but it boils down to having two caretakers for the island. On one side, the Armadas. On the other side, Mang Mulo.

In 2010, my friends stayed in Mang Mulo's side of the island. My friends did say their stay was a lot of fun and very inexpensive. The caretakers were very generous and fun-loving so their stay was real hassle-free.

Unfortunately, on the weekend of our trip, Mang Mulo's side of the island was closed for business. Apparently, some VIPs were staying on their side of the island and they cannot accommodate visitors. 

I wasn't sure if it was more because of the incessant hunger to hang out in isolated virgin beaches or if it was the NEED to see and hold live starfishies but I really just had to go. So we decided to give the Armada side of the island a try. 

There are two options on how to get there by bus. One option is to take a direct bus from Caloocan Victory Liner to Santa Cruz, Zambales. The second option would be to take a bus to Olongapo and then get  a bus  going to Santa Cruz from there. Both ways, one is to pay fare of about P450 to Radyo Veritas Road, Palauig.

From Radio Veritas Road, you can take a 75-peso 30-minute dirt road tricycle ride going to where the boats are. 

My friends had Saturday off, so they took the trip Saturday morning. And I went solo on a Sunday morning. The trip is very long, yet very easy. No haggling, nothing complicated. You just need to go to the bus terminal, ride the correct bus, know where to go down and secure your things.

Usually, on trips to beaches in Zambales, like Anawangin, Capones, Camara, Nagsasa and Potipot, the splurge is in the boat ride. Potipot's boat ride which will last about 10 minutes will cost P400. This is not true for Magalawa.

The boat men said the boat ride to Magalawa when you're going solo is P250. Grace Armada, from the Armada Resort, told me over the phone in a previous conversation that the boat ride was P100 per person for a minimum of five people.

Now, for those trying to get a heads up on what's going to happen, I'm not saying we're all of the same level of luck but I've got this little story.

I rode the boat with two other travelers and got off the Armada's side of the island. The boatman had no interest in getting payment from me, said "Ok na, Ok na.", pointed me towards the small resort restaurant and proceeded to talk to the island caretakers. In a matter of minutes, he was gone. 

I guess Mr Boatman wanted me to be a literally happy camper. 

I found my friends on the beach under the shade of a few trees on what I will soon find out to be my favorite thing about Magalawa.

I expected the water to be real warm considering that the sun seemed to have been playing a rude game called "Evaporate" for about a week then.

Surprisingly, the water was just the right temperature. Should I say, amidst the rage of the sun, Magalawa waters kept its cool.

In the late evening, most beaches would sport ice-cold water but not Magalawa.

Of all beach waters I've encountered, I like Magalawa's best.





On one side of the island, we found the starfishes lying on the sand by the shore.


To be honest, I have no idea how to handle starfishes. I just intended to see one. I didn't even think they'll be alive.

We had nothing much to do with the star-fishies but take pictures and turn them upside down but I really loved their company.

And like kids, we stayed with the starfishies until we grew hungry and had to head back to camp.

We set up a fire and cooked our own food.

Apparently, the Armadas charge for everything.

Camping at the Armada grounds cost P300 a night and P100 for the succeeding nights. The highest environmental/entrance/island fee I have encountered so far.

We bought about six tomatoes, an onion, garlic and a sachet of soy sauce from the Armada store and one lady wanted to charge us P70. I was OK with paying it until my brains grew back after the other guy who was left at the counter said that that was too much and opted to charge us P30 instead. (Thanks, Kuya!!!)

After lunch, one of the Kuyas at the Armada resort, sold us sea urchins at P10. I had no idea what that tasted like and thought everyone might want a try. We bought 20 pieces and Kuya left a whole pail of sea urchins by our campsite.

He taught us how to hold, crack, remove the dirt and eat 'em sea urchins. But although I like holding and playing with the pointed thing, it just wasn't a culinary delight for me.

We left for Magalawa just a few minutes before noon and headed for Manila under the scorching heat of the summer sun. It was a real long ride and I got home too tired to look at the clock but I was definite in the thought that Magalawa's waters is one that I would return for.

I'll be sure to stay under the shade of Mang Mulo's trees next time :)

"Yung iba nga, mas malaki problema e."

Kapag may problema ka, maraming tao yung magsasabi sa yo na, "Wag mo na isipin yan, marami diyan mas malalaki pa ang problema kesa sa yo."

Yung iba, para tumahan ka. Yung iba, para manahimik ka. Yung iba, wala lang siguro masabing iba.

Pero kung ano man ang rason ng bawat taong yan ang sinasabi kapag may problema, hindi pa rin ako kumbinsido.

Ika nga: My feelings are valid.

May karapatan akong makaramdam ng lungkot, galit, pagkadismaya at kung anuman. Hindi matatanggal ng mas mapusok na damdamin ng iba ang nararamdaman ko.

Syempre, magkaiba naman to sa mga nagrereklamo lang. Meron kasing mga tao na kelangan lang nila maglabas ng sama ng loob para makakuha ng solusyon. May iba naman, nagrereklamo lang pero wala naman balak gumawa ng solusyon.

Sabi ko sa isang kaibigan, kung ang lower middle class, iisipin niya na wala siyang problema sa pera dahil may mga nasa below poverty line, hindi niya masosolusyunan ang problema niya.

Wala nang aasenso.

Sabi nga sa Desiderata,
"If you compare yourself to others,
You may become vain or bitter,
For always, there will be lesser or greater persons than yourself."

Hindi ka nagkaproblema para tignan mo kung sino ang may mas konti o mas maraming problema kesa sa yo, nagkaron ka ng problema para humanap ka ng solusyon sa problema mo at matuto.

Gumawa ka ng solusyon:
Ngayon, para sa sarili mo.
Bukas, para sa mga sa tingin mo ay merong mas malaking problema kesa sa yo.

The Begging Business

(Written on 09/06/12. First posted on diyandiyanlang.blogspot.com)

I'm a commuter who likes to sleep when my mode of transport is on the move. My body voluntarily shakes awake before my designated stop. It's a gift.

Recently, except for my 2am ride to the office, I have been constantly disturbed by people who go up buses to ask for alms. Now, I have absolutely NO TRUST for these people; I do not trust that they are saying the truth or that they will put the money to good use.

In the past, I thought "Why the hell would these people sacrifice their dignity and ask for money in public transportation if not as a desperate move?"

But then, I thought of it business-wise and I realized how much of a lucrative business it is.

With an investment of about less than P50, if they earn about P20 per 20 minutes they spend on one vehicle,  they can earn as much as P9000 a month, or more.

Take a look at this.



The Begging Business

Investment
* Envelopes
~ Target market: Jeep, At least 5 envelopes
~ Target market: Bus, At least 10 envelopes
* Marker - used to write on envelope to emphasize that you are asking for money


Themes:

CULTURAL
You wear anything comfortable. You start by telling people that you are from a land far far away. You utter a few words native to that land as proof. You tell the people of your hardship in that land far far away. Then you tell them of the hardships you encountered while in Manila. As an extra, you may offer a song while rapping on a little drum that you brought. Then, you ask for money.

RELIGIOUS
You wear formal clothes, like a salesman. You bring a bible and formal looking bag, possibly a laptop bag that does not have a laptop. You start by greeting everyone and saying that they are your brothers and sisters. You read a verse from the bible and strive to explain it. You say the Lord is powerful, loving, merciful and everything else. You emphasize that you do not want them to suffer the fires of hell. Then, you ask for money.

HARDWORKING STUDENT
Wear comfortable clothes. Write on the envelopes that you need the money for your studies. Unlike those students who actually try to make a living by selling Macapuno on buses, you do not have any goods to sell. You just ride a bus and distribute the envelopes asking for money as you wait quietly at the back of the bus.


Manual of Operations
1. Choose your target market
2. Choose a theme
3. Prepare your tools
4. Perform


Return of Investment
First Hour


Possible Profit:
 If one earns P20 per 20 minutes one spends on one vehicle.




Perks of the job
~ Flexible hours
~ No transportation cost

To the irresponsible parent, from lessons of Determinism

You, as parents, had more than a decade to influence your child to love you. You had control of your child's formative years to shape who your child becomes in adulthood.

Now, when the child became an adult, that adult refuses to cherish you. And you blame that adult for being of less virtue than you wish of the child?

Yeah. Fuck you. I don't think so.

That thing called Tadhana

"Bakit di pa sabihin ang di mo maamin? Ipauubaya na lang ba to sa hangin?" kanta ng Up Dharma Down.

Napakasimple ng takbo ng istorya ng That Thing Called Tadhana, pero ang daming komplikadong emosyon. 

Unang eksena pa lang, alam kong magugustuhan ko na. 

Bakit? Kasi nagmumura si Angelica P.

Nagmumura siya ng pabulong kasi may bullshit na nangyayari. Wala siyang minumura, nagmumura lang siya. Hindi bastos kundi totoo. Nagmumura siya na parang ikaw at ako. 

O, sige. Kung hindi ka nagmumura, e di ako lang. Nagmumura siya na parang ako.

Tapos biglang ngumiti si JM, akala ko end credits na kasi parang nakumpleto na ng ngiti niya yung buong pelikula. Pero meron pa palang kasunod.

Yung tahimik na pagkayamot sa paghihintay ng bag ng iba. Nakita mo ba ang sarili mo don? Ikaw ba yung nagpapahintay o yung naghihintay?

Ang pagpili ng cab. Ang pagtambay kasama ng taong di mo masyadong kakilala dahil naaaliw ka at wala kang ibang gagawin. 

Yung unang pagmumura ni JM. 

Yung asaran tungkol sa pagiging burgis. 

Alam mo, sa dami ng tao na nagpapanggap na burgis, gusto kong balikan yung mga panahon nung college na hindi cool ang pagiging mayaman. Nakaka-miss kasi yung mga panahon noon na yung mga mayayaman yung nakikibagay at sumasama sa carinderia. Ngayon, haha. Hindi ka na college. At kahit yung college mo, hindi na rin katulad ng dati. 

Isang impromptu na byahe. Paborito natin yang mga ganyan. Pangarap natin yan. Yung, isang araw, wala sa plano, bigla ka lang sasakay ng bus papunta kung san mo gusto.

Yung pagbuhat ng sarili mong bag - ikaw, bilang babae - na walang tulong ng iba - ng walang tulong ng lalake - at kahit gano kabigat, masasabi mong kaya mo, kakayanin mo at makakaya mo. Na parang tulad ng pagle-let go. Na kahit mahirap, kahit mabagal, kaya mong gawin mag-isa ng walang tulong ng iba - ng walang tulong ng ibang lalake. 

Nung naiwan nila yung maleta, yon yon e. Ang gaan. Walang buhat, walang hassle. Kung pwede lang e. 

Tangina, di pa nga ako nakarating ng Sagada!

Burgis nga yung dalawa. Kayang gumasta ng pamasahe, pagkain, panahon. Burgis.

Naisip ko tuloy... Para sa burgis nga lang ba ang tadhana? Tangina kasi, busy ako e. 

Favorite ko yung sumisigaw si Mace sa taas ng bundok. Sa harap ng sea of clouds, sinigaw niyang ayaw niya na. Nakakaiyak yon. Naisip ko sana pwede nating isigaw ng ganon yung nasa loob nating lahat. Ang sarap non. 

Yung mga usapan nila, simple lang e. Pero pasok. Patusok. Tumatama. Medyo... masakit.

"Aren't we supposed to be great by this time?" Instant translate: Gano ka kabwakananginang bilib sa sarili mo at nasan ka ngayon?

"Pangit ba ko?" Instant translate: Ano bang wala sa akin?

Yung curiosity na kung ako kaya ang kausap ni Anthony, sasabihin niya din kaya na maganda ako? Yung thoughts na wala namang sense lahat ng nagsabing maganda ka, kasi hindi naman ikaw ang mahal nila ngayon.

Hugot film siya. Hindi lang dahil humuhugot yung characters pero dahil huhugot ka rin. 

Sabi ko, sa palagay ko, hindi to masyadong maa-appreciate ng mga masyadong masaya. Yung mga taong nakalimot na don sa sakit ng maiwan. Yung mga taong hindi na matandaan yung lungkot ng pag-iisa.

Ito, oo, para to sa mga gustong mag-move on. Pero hindi dahil pwede mong gayahin yung characters na magta-travel at mai-in love tapos makaka-move on ka na. Kasi... san mo naman hahanapin si JM?

Hindi naman lang to para sa pagmo-move on sa lovelife. Tingin ko para to sa pagmo-move on sa buhay. Yung mga tanong na, ano ba talagang gusto mo maging? Yung toast na, to the great people we will become. 

Dahil pag nire-examine mo yung buhay mo at hinanap yung sarili mo - yung totoong sarili mo - sa kung anumang paraan na angkop sa yo, don ka makaka-move on.

Kaya...

Cheers....!

"to the great people we will be."

*

Panoorin mo na =)

Blame It on the Wind

Let's talk about the wind.

How it stings,
And pains your eyes
And induces a flood of tears.

Let's talk about its strength
That surges to your core
And renders you weak.

How excruciating its pain,
As you feel a looming surrender
Of your weary spirit.

But you wipe your tears away,
Because you know it's not the wind.

It's the sun.

Let's talk about the sun...

Tearfully Grateful

Today is a day of tearful gratefulness.

The week has been trying. The workload is the same but people were unusually rude - over the phone, online and in person.

Or maybe, they've always been rude and I just wasn't paying enough attention to what I was feeling. And nobody else was. And this week, I was just really growing tired of it.

And then... yesterday.

Yesterday, before I slept, I cried and told Him that I'm tired. And that I'm weak. And that I'm getting hurt.

I asked Him to help me because my heart is in pain. And I can't laugh it off anymore. And I told Him that I need Him to protect me.

I woke up today and told Him that I trust Him. And whispered little prayers before my working day officially started.

The miracles started before my prayer ended.

There were no calls. No rude callers screaming their demands.

My coffee tasted best.

I was told not to man the phones and check the mails instead. I was off the phones for more than half my shift and needed to speak with only a few clients - who were, by the way, quite pleasant.

My heart was calm.

I was corrected rather pleasantly by a new friend on one case that I overlooked and was teased by my seatmate, Well, isn't that embarassing? (Napahiya ka no?) And I answered, We don't bank on shaming each other. (Hindi kami ganon.)

And I realized that that was true. It's one of the most dear blessings of the day, a new friendship that started with each person's a casual kindness towards a stranger.

I smiled.

The working day was a breeze.

I met with an old friend for breakfast and was greeted with a surprise Christmas gift. And we exchanged stories.

My tea smelled perfect.

Now, I know I may get hurt in different ways and times yet again but it's such comfort to know that I will always have friends and blessings.

And I am tearfully grateful because, although some bad things won't change, neither will my God.

Attending A Wedding Alone

Today, I attended the wedding of my office friend, Betchai and her groom, Lui.

Weeks before the wedding, I was almost sure I'll be attending alone. It's a spider sense thing - one I acquired from being a fan of Spiderman.

I committed to coming, without looking left nor right as to who's coming with me. And there I was.

How do you go to a friend's wedding on your own? I have no car even! - And had no idea how to get to the venue until the day of the event itself.

But I have already committed and I honor my commitment. Plus, I really want to attend a wedding. I'm not really sure why but it's just one of the things I want to watch.

So, it's a green light for me - alone or not.

I was planning on attending the wedding ceremony and leaving before the reception. I was, fortunately, able to convince a couple of office friends to come after office shift to represent the office friends who could not make it. So, I was covered for the reception.

But I didn't want to miss the ceremony, so I decided to push through with coming to the church alone.

I took a bus to a common jump off point. Then, I took a cab and, with the help of trusty google maps, got to the venue right before Betchai walked down the aisle.

The church was beautiful. Simple and easy on the eyes. Divine white. Tinted glass windows. Huge wooden doors.

The church doors were closed as we waited for the bride. And then, it was opened. Light flooded the aisle of the church. And there she was. All dressed in white. Swimming in the sunshine. It was a splendid sight.

It was a Catholic ceremony. First, the mass, the responsorial psalms, the homily... Then the I do's, then the vows, then the ring, the pronouncement as man and wife, then the sponsors - cord, coin, etc, then the "You may kiss the bride." and then the shower of petals as the bride and groom exits the church.

I was pretty much content, alone and hiding behind my cellphone camera - the trusty Samsung Galaxy Note 2, which I must say takes quite good snapshots.

For the after wedding photo ops, I confined myself to editing the photos so I missed it when they were looking for 'friends of the bride.' Honestly, if I heard it, I would've been absolutely shy and won't be able to make it to a post at the altar for the photo.

And then, it was done.

I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I'm happy to say I survived it. Now, attending a church wedding is just among the list of things I can do alone.

Maybe the next wedding I go to, I can improve on social skills and score a few friends, and maybe get the guts to join the photo ops. But for now, I'm quite pleased with how this went.

The wedding was absolutely charming and I'm glad I went even if I had to go alone.